why?

oh lord, it's happen again. AGAIN! when the time i could say " nothing gonna change my love on HIM", n there is the time he left me. y lord. y??? wht do i deserve for living? y i cant even have strong relationship? y u always do this to me? am i not deserve to b love by the person whom i love? it is hurt lord! dun u noe that? where is my mistakes till u torture me this way? where lord? where?? can u let show me. y ths mess keep happening? my mistakes? really? oh yea. i swallow all that, i take it. so many times, but y the same thing happen to me? o maybe ths song suitable for me.

I remember years ago 

Someone told me I should take 

Caution when it comes to love 

I did, I did 

And you were strong and I was not 

My illusion, my mistake 

I was careless, I forgot 

I did 

And now when all is done 

There is nothing to say 

You have gone and so effortlessly 

You have won 

You can go ahead tell them 

Tell them all I know now 

Shout it from the roof tops 

Write it on the sky line 

All we had is gone now 

Tell them I was happy 

And my heart is broken 

All my scars are open 

Tell them what I hoped would be 

Impossible, impossible 

Impossible, impossible 

Falling out of love is hard 

Falling for betrayal is worst 

Broken trust and broken hearts 

I know, I know 

Thinking all you need is there 

Building faith on love and words 

Empty promises will wear 

I know, I know 

And now when all is gone 

There is nothing to say 

And if you're done with embarrassing me 

On your own you can go ahead tell them 

And my heart is broken 

All my scars are open 

Tell them what I hoped would be 

I remember years ago 

Someone told me I should take 

Caution when it comes to love 

I did..

Lord,

i do really love him. my only desire is him to b my man whom always be at my side. 

i give him my all, just to have him for the rest of my life. 

where's his promises when he said that he WILL NEVER GIVE UP? where is it sweetheart? where?

where is the person who console me that he gonna be EVERYTHING to protect me. WHERE?

i was thought our love is just like a PYRAMID.

we shall stand together till the every end. but what is happening now?

i thought v could b this: 

Stones, heavy like the love you've shown 
Solid as the ground we've known 
And I just wanna carry on
We took it from the bottom up 
And even in a desert storm 
Sturdy as a rock we hold 
Wishing every moment froze
Now I just wanna let you know
Earthquakes can't shake us
Cyclones can't break us
Hurricanes can't take away our love

Pyramid, we built this on a solid rock
It feels just like it's heaven's touch
Together at the top (at the top baby), like a pyramid
And even when the wind is blowing
We'll never fall just keep on going
Forever we will stay, like a pyramid

Dear Muhammad Akmal Abudul Talib, 

my only lover that i wanna treasure for the rest of my life.

i just miss the every early of our relationship. i miss 19 January 2010. 

i am sorry with my harsh words that i threw to u on 2 Dec 2010. 

it is hurt me lot when u say that ur love became lesser towards me. 

y must u always have that "lesser" words in ur dictionary? y?

my love towards u never goes down even there's lot of time u hurt me.

but now, again, u break my heart into very tiny pieces AGAIN. 

y Muhammad Akmal? y??? am i x deserve to b with u? 

i am so sorry that i couldn't b the woman that u DESIRE. but my loves towards u r SINCERE.

i doesn't noe hw the way to hate u. bcz the more i do, the result will b NEGATIVE.

yes I LOVE U SO MUCH. i always pray that u will love me as much as i do. if i didn't trust u, y not u make me to trust on u? u said that ur love towards me getting lesser after v argue. but did i just let it b that way? i  did many things to gain back ur love. but y it is so hard for u to love me back? y?   y u tend to end up everything MUHAMMAD AKMAL? y? u told me u NEVER GIVE UP. but y now? y now muhammad akmal? y dun u kill me straight away than u did this to me.  i made my mom believe that u r different person than before. but y? y? how am i gonna face all this all by myself? HOW?

Sorry I never told you

All I wanted to say

And now it's too late to hold you

'Cause you've flown away

So far away

Never had I imagined

Living without your smile

Feeling and knowing you hear me

It keeps me alive

Alive

And I know you're shining down on me from heaven

Like so many friends we've lost along the way

And I know eventually we'll be together

One sweet day

Darling I never showed you

Assumed you'd always be there

I took your presence for granted

But I always cared

And I miss the love we shared

Although the sun will never shine the same again

I'll always look to a brighter day

Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep

You will always listen as I pray

Sorry I never told you

All I wanted to say

I MISS THIS MOMENT